FED UP

dedicated to my ex (oink oink)

2007-11-04T19:23:31Z

drowning in addiction

2007-10-17T06:04:23Z

it has just been days since the last tournament and i don't know why i am so hungry for more that last night, i even went on my own to a court where i do not know anyone and played till my body ached.

my frustration for the first game of the first tournament jitters is giving me a lust for smashing and manipulating and just giving the opponent a hard time if i could.

i'm drowning in badminton blood lust~

help~

Whoever You Are

2007-10-14T09:17:23Z

The tournament that I have entered was entitled "Smash for a Cause".

The cause was for a cancer patient who was undergoing chemotherapy, the patient was a friend of the core group of the initiators of this tournament wherein, being my first ever tournament, I ended up in the Semi Finals.

The beneficiary passed away...

Whoever you are, thanks for this tournament... I've learned much of my strengths and weaknesses and your joining our Creator has made people of different walks of life meet and learn.

Though to me you are unnamed, you are blessed and have blessed others. You've touched my life, somehow.

The Tournament

2007-10-13T04:47:10Z

It started with a motive of losing weight then it changed into an outlet for anger.

Now, after 10 pounds of body fat loss, months of training both with weights and endurance, nights of dreaming of the game itself, my very first tournament starts 8 AM tomorrow.

I never knew I'd go this far.

Never knew.

Bothered by a Shallow yet Deeply Rooted Memory:

2007-09-29T19:39:33Z

I don't know why I am so inspired by Megatron's original Frank Welker voice. Transformers dialogs are definitely more than meets the eye.

(stolen from moki) transformers meme: (cripes!)

2007-09-03T18:28:08Z

I AM
76%
MEGATRON Take the Transformers Quiz

I think I'm becoming too ambitious for my age~

A Beautiful Song

2007-09-02T06:49:14Z

With the sudden drop of the real estate industry in the usa, and our friends and partners there, taking the bulk of the impact, nieves told me to donwload this song that has so much meaning for a man who... well... means less than nothing to me, i guess? or maybe he's done a lot, indirectly, to you.. me... everybody on the planet who's suffering now.

The song goes:

"Dear Mr. President"
(feat. Indigo Girls)

Dear Mr. President,
Come take a walk with me.
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me.
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly.

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?
What do you feel when you look in the mirror?
Are you proud?

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why?

Dear Mr. President,
Were you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
How can you say
No child is left behind?
We're not dumb and we're not blind.
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pave the road to hell.

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away?
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine.

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye?

Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don't know nothing 'bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
Oh

How do you sleep at night?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Dear Mr. President,
You'd never take a walk with me.
Would you?

OPEN SUGGESTION TO TEAM MANILA

2007-08-31T12:20:28Z

For T-SHIRT prints...

remember the TEAM ANISTON and TEAM JOLIE shirts? Then the thought of making the TEAM DAWN and TEAM GRETCHEN shirts? How about

TEAM WILLIE

or

TEAM JOEY

tees?

Swear, bibili ako.

All Sides

2007-08-05T17:34:08Z

Being alone has its advantages.

You have more time for yourself.

You have nobody else to tend to, moreover, nobody's ass to kiss.

No drama from anyone else. If I feel like making my own drama; EASY. But why should I anyway?-- I'm enjoying this.

I look and feel so available... but I'll make sure I'm not.

Because being alone has its advantages.

Dear Bogart

2007-07-02T17:39:59Z

Hey dude, how's it going up there? What kind of food do they serve to you, up where you are, in Heaven? I'm sorry if I was never able to teach you how to use the spoon and fork down here...

Gart, I miss you loads. . . I really need you now... oh yea, I got two young kitties from Bulacan and named em Tom and Jerry. They're still quite shy, and it's going to be really hard for them to fill your shoes... They're not as interactive as you yet.

I visit your burial every now and then... thanks for the cool breeze that you bring to the yard... and yea, I guess it's still the same old routine of boys in and boys out, huh? Did you ever get jealous? hahaha~ nah, I never got jealous when you go out for your ladies next door. I'm actually wondering if you have a litter of your own somewhere round the area... I guess they have their own lives now.

Alam mo, Gart... na mimiss kita talaga. Alam mo, gusto kita sana makausap o matanong lamang kase para ka talagang tao kung manirahan dito sa bahay eh. . . ayan naluluha nanaman ako... hay.

Basta kung paparamdam ka o bibisita, pwede yung hindi nakakatakot ha... ayoko ng ganun.

Cge na... tulog nako.. naisip lang kc kita uli e.

meoowwrr

-- love, Joma

Bogart Rivera Passed Away June 20, 2007

2007-06-20T06:03:54Z

Bogart, to the eyes of most people who have not been to my home would just be your ordinary pusakal.

This pusakal, I would like the entire world to know, listened to and cheered up people... he cheered me up in times when people, themselves were too busy... being people.

This "pusakal" taught me that it doesn't have to be people all the time to take care of people: nature is capable of nurturing, filling the gaps and flourishing our daily lives.

Bogart entertained my friends when visitors would come over to the house. He'd be my sidekick in making pa cute.

There are times that my heart was broken and he'd stare at me, in my room... as if telling me to move on... I'd continue crying then he'd jump into my lap and start rubbing his forehead on my chest and he'd start to purr-- "I love you" in cat.

Ultimately, Bogart saw me through a lot and, I've read much about cats, I am in deep honor for he gave me his 9th life.

Bogart Rivera will always have a place in my heart as a person who cared, looked after and loved.

Thanks for spending your 9th life with me, my friend.

A Ragnarok Excerpt; Dedicated to Lightbringer's Father

2007-05-23T15:20:32Z

Years after the disbandment of the Rose Croix Protectorate, it's soldiers have gone on their own lives to tend to what raised them to be able to reach where they are: home.

Home is where everything begins, and though for some who never knew their past, like the assassin Lee Jung Hyun, he finds himself in a situation wherein it is best not to know his past. . . for in the passing of none, no grievance shall be made.

The assassin, not knowing the identity of his parents, stares at the paladin who is rarely seen to kneel or drop his shield. Jeus bows his head as the rest of his familygrieves with him, his brothers and sisters embracing the cold steel of his armor, letting their tears flow down the metal to reach the earth where the casket was to be buried, in hopes to quench the thirst of their father in his new journey to, hopefully, a better world.

Further behind the flank of the Lightbringer family stands sympathizers from the guilds of Ouroboros, Alagad ni Kalantiao, Metaphysical Adobo and the Knights Templar...

It was even rare to see some of the leaders of these guilds to come into one place again, ever since Rose Croix was disbanded before the worlds were merged peacefully by the Gods themselves after the wars of the Undead, the Demon World merger and the Reign of the Machine Empire.

Yet after so many conquests, it stands true: everything begins at home, and it is here on the glades of far northern Al De Baran where the sire of the house of Lightbringer shall lay, where one of the greatest Paladins in the world of Fenrir will bear a weakness and a source of strength for this moment as Jeus Lightbringer bids his final farewell to one of the former officials of the Government of the Pronteran Republic, that was borne from the secession of the Pronteran Kingdom, a soldier, a husband, a brother and to Jeus. . . his father.

And as the casket is lowered into the ground, gusts of snowflakes marry the raining rose petals that once flourished throughout the heavily defended walls of Virchbruek.

Virchbruek, where history was made and a part of the power that made history was from the house of Lightbringer.

Birthday Blues No More

2007-05-16T08:23:16Z

I actually cried my ass off a few days ago... This always happens when my birthday nears... and it's even worse coz I saw some old friends from before last Friday-- and they still haven't changed a bit.

I remember my teachers and my parents telling me what's good from the bad and I just simply looked back and obeyed-- maybe because I just simply listen and take my place as someone who learned from them.

I learned, from them and empirical experience, that drugs are bad.

After seeing them that Friday night, I didn't feel like getting angry anymore, nor disappointed-- I just didn't feel anything anymore. It's become a natural fact that fish swim so they get high.

Why am I wasting time being concerned with people who won't even listen, moreover why do I even call them friends?

I shared time with them, yes I did-- that's why i called them friends, and maybe, I'm hoping, that whatever things I was able to teach them from the time shared, that I also learned from my parents and teachers, would touch their lives in time.

That's my birthday wish.

Anyway, I'll still be civil-- everyone has a battle to fight everyday, so why even add to the problem, right?

I've got plans for my life now, and I'm not gonna compromise it for cheap thrills and things that aren't for real.

Ate, I know you can read this, you've always been there... help me out ok?

Why, Joms?

2007-05-10T15:18:47Z

I was busy at work in Baguio, I switched sims due to the signal shortage... i texted everyone who uses globe my new sim... and that's when i felt a really chilly breeze throughout baguio...

that's why u didnt reply...

that's why ur quotes never came...

and that's why u seem quite warm to everyone recently...

even breaking the ice with me...

you knew it all along did you? you just didn't want to tell anyone... and even now, i only find out when i finish my work; simply because u didn't want to bother anyone at all.

May you rest in peace... you lived your last days to the fullest... you were at your brightest.

Hair Cut: To Pass The Melancholy

2007-04-21T09:59:10Z

Thanks to Alex of 2nd Edition... it's malate_drunk's salon located at their building at Seneca Plaza, E. Rodriguez, 2nd floor.

ragnarokette @ 2007-04-21T11:26:00

2007-04-21T03:24:29Z

It has halways been this way ever since last year. It's like a ghost. . . or a passing. You know they're there but they're already in a different world.

What's darker about it is, much like death, you were not able to say goodbye.

MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE

2007-04-02T04:09:52Z

b a n a n a

makes me wanna

childhood meme from vwida

2007-03-26T07:48:25Z

1. Are you a child of the 70s, 80s, or 90s?
80's ako~ :D

2. Where were you born?
Quezon City

3. What kind of home did you grow up in?
I spent more time with my Grandmother in Laguna... Running through fields of mulberry bushes.

4. Did you enjoy your childhood?
the earlier parts. it all went to hell when my grandmother passed away.

5. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be feared.

6. What do you want to be now?
Invincible.

7. What was your first best friend's name?
Kee Fee.

8. Is he still your friend?
Gee, i dunno... no contact since kindergarten.

9. Can you name all the schools you ever attended?
Pleasant House, Twinkle Star Children's Workshop, La Salle Green Hills, University of Santo Tomas-- in that order.

10. Were you closer to your mom or dad as a kid?
Neither. I wa close to my Grandmother.

11. What was the first record, tape or CD you remember buying?
The Land Before Time

12. How old is a good age to have kids?
as long as ur fucking rich, go ahead.

13. Were you scared of anything?
Spiders.

14. What was your favourite class in elementary school?
English.

15. Did you buy school lunch or bring your own?
I did both but not at the same time.

16. Broken any bones or had any freaky accidents as a kid?
my left leg had a huge laceration from falling off a bike into a barbed wire fence.

17. Were you a mean kid?
I was quiet, but I wanted to inflict pain to sissies whenever i saw the oportunity. i just made sure i come out innocent.

18. Favourite board game of all time?
Monopoly and Cranial.

19. Did you play house or pretend to be a super hero?
We played a huge city, i owned the bank and the statistics weathering companies. i don't like heroes, i liked the bad guys.

20. Seriously, are you still just a kid at heart?
Yes... my eyes are always set on the horizon...

important lesson, realized:

2007-02-22T11:33:18Z

cheap sells.

Dear Jesus

2007-01-25T15:42:09Z

It's typical of me to talk to you during uncertain times, sometimes I wonder why you don't get tired of my routine of calling out to you when things get so bleak while I'm way out of your reach when I'm having fun.

Again, for the ump teenth time, I'm sorry if I was not able to give my 100% and I was not really able to do what you expect of me.

God, I'm suffering now, somehow I subtly am. What's even more painful is that those whom I hold close to my heart are also going through hard times and it hurts me more.

I really don't know what to ask of You. It's been said a lot that everything that is present is from you and it is good.

I just wanna let go of everything and pass it to you tonight, in my sleep.

I'm letting go simply because I have come to the conclusion that my pride in myself won't do me, or anyone else, any good.

God, kayo na po ang bahala, kahit mamayang gabi sa pag tulog ko, nakakapagod na din po makita ang mga minamahal ko sa buhay na hirap na hirap e. May mga bagay lang po na hindi kami nagka intindihan
. . . at bilang tao may hangganan lang talaga ang kakayahan ko.

Kaya ehto na ako, hindi ako sumusuko, ipapasa ko na lang po ito sa inyo dahil pagod na po ang isip, puso't kaluluwa ko.

Kayo na ang bahala, po.

Before and After

2007-01-25T07:53:41Z

ragnarokette circa 2000-2004: You jump, I jump.

ragnarokette 2007: You jump, fine!

This Week's Mantra

2007-01-25T04:13:49Z

There is no such thing as too much work.

There is no such thing as too much perseverance.

Anyway, I woke up last night to a noise that really made me envious. My new neighbors, the gay couple, was making "A Song played on the Solo Saxaphone, a crazy sound, that made the night seem like the last night in the world."

Adding insult to injury was that their room wasn't even next to mine-- it was below mine, and a bit further away! That was one hell of a sonic blow (job?).

I wish I could experience something like that again in this simple life o mine.

An Entry From Bogart

2007-01-02T02:19:54Z

Now since my boss is out, working... I snuck from the maid's room to his PC to surf, so i thought of going on LJ.

Resolutions? Heck, I've lost my mind hiding from the explosions the other night.

He seems mighty different... aside from his new weird language, it also seems like this year's bringing in new colors for him... hope it brings less dogs for me. I had him get rid of 2 canines from this house... hehehe

rawrrr.

Hmmm... I'm feeling hungry.. I think I'll have me some salmon. I'll have to sneak through his pesky sister first. hisssss~

Meow* Rawr*

Happy New Year~

(I think I can understand human better now)

Oops~ I found time to make one more New Years Message to All

2006-12-31T08:18:41Z

here are some nay-says from my end of the line:

1. I think there is no need to say that love will last forever.
Forever is not measured in terms of length of time, or chronology.
A moment of happiness can be forever. A haiku is a three-line poem,
very short, but it captures the world. The sakura or cherry blossoms
of Japan bloom for four days, then then wither and die -- after
showing the world what vivid beauty means.

2. I think there is no need to say I will love you until I die. What
does death mean? I think it is not measured in terms of length of
time, or chronology. At times, we die every day, when our friends
disappoint us, or betray us. Or when the one we love does not know,
or cannot accept what in his heart of hearts, he really feel. That
is death, too.

3. I think there is no need to grieve forever. When love dies, you
grieve and cry, then you move on. No need to burden the world with
your grief. We have to stop giving the other person the power to
hurt us. We can visualize this -- this person is a rock wrapped in
paper, then thrown in the middle of the lake. Or this person is an
arrow that you shoot right, into the centre of the sun, where he
melts.

You close a room -- seal its windows, shut the door, then padlock it
firmly. Then open another one. Believe me, there is a line outside,
waiting for you. But only if you open the next door, to the next
room. Those who persist in their present, toxic relationships --
relationships that have no future, and are doomed to extinction --
are the ones who will never be truly happy. They smile at you, but
their hearts are full of holes.

I hope these random thoughts -- culled from almost half a century of
living -- helps you and the others in this e-group of ours.

Cheers,

Danton

Heart Song???

2006-12-20T10:36:53Z

"Wherever you are. I fear that I might have lost you forever, like a song in the night. Now that I've loved again, after a long long while, I've loved again. It was destiny's game, for when I finally came on, I rushed in line, only to find that you were gone..."